Hi. I'm Foxglove and I write ghost stories.Why do I write ghost stories? Because I love them. I just can't get enough. I can't tell you how many ghost shows I've binge-watched. And once I'd watched everything available, I started creating my own--books, not TV shows. I'm only one person!
When it comes to what I term "ghost shows," there's a plethora available--never enough, but lots.
How do I define a "ghost show"?
Well, the ones I gravitate toward purport to be TRUE. That's the main attraction, for me, as a viewer. Strangely enough, I don't care whether they are, in actuality, true or entirely manufactured. That part is irrelevant. This is entertainment, folks. As long as I can at least pretend what I'm seeing is real, I'm happy.
So basically what I'm looking for would be classified as documentary or reality (non-fiction), as opposed to drama (fiction). The formats I enjoy are investigation (like the shows I feature in this post) or reenactment, where a real person tells a true tale of ghostly encounters and actors create the visuals. Examples of this style include Paranormal Survivor, A Haunting, and countless others.
Unfortunately, though there are about a million different ghost shows on the planet, the vast majority are not on Netflix.
That's why I was really excited when Netflix created their own Original Series: "Haunted."I watched the first season when it was released. It didn't resonate with me. It should have. It had everything going for it: the right style, the right format, all that beautiful greased-up Netflix money... and yet, the show just didn't work for me.
There weren't that many episodes anyway, so I forgot about the show until yesterday, when the second season went live.
I watched three episodes, and I'm now able to articulate why Netflix's "Haunted" is not the ghost show for me:
It's Too Good
What does that mean, "Too Good?" Well, in this case, it means: too polished, too cinematographically sophisticated. When I watch a ghost show, I want it to be borderline bad. I want the acting to be laughable. I want to see the zipper. I want it to have been filmed on location in Oshawa, Ontario (I've got family there). This Netflix series is too beautiful for my glazed-over eyes. It's also too dark--visually. Am I getting old, or is it impossible to actually see what's going on?
It's Too Scary
A ghost show is not a substitute for a horror movie, for me. They're different animals, and "Haunted" too closely replicates the style of a horror flick. It's not what I'm after. I watch ghost shows when I'm seeking a frisson of fear, not when I want to poop my pants (I never actually want to do that... and I never have... moving right along...)
It's Too Adult
The internet's got plenty of sources for sex and violence. When I'm watching my ghost shows, I'm not in the market for gratuitous adult content. I loved ghost stuff when I was an innocent, apple-cheeked 13-year-old, and watching ghost shows now takes me back to simpler times. For me to love a ghost show, it's got to be suitable for my 13-year-old self. My thirtysomething self can find nudity without your help, thank you very much. I mean, like... on the internet.
It's Got Too Many Feels
This is the big one. I've saved the best for last--or, if not BEST, at least the most pertinent point: some of these stories are just too intense for me to handle in this particular context. I'm not always psychologically prepared to hear stories about rape, torture and childhood sexual assault. In fact, one of the big reasons I watch ghost shows is to get scared by something otherworldly. The real world is full of awfulness coming at you so fast you don't even have time to deal with one traumatic incident before the next one is upon you.
I watch ghost shows as an escape, not as a reminder of the world's many atrocities. I watch them to feel mildly frightened, not terrified out of my wits.
"Haunted" gives me all the wrong feels. It's not what I'm looking for in a ghost show. I'm not telling anyone not to watch it, obviously--you live your life as you see fit--but I would like to caution anyone who is triggered by anything that you will absolutely need to call a hotline after watching this series. I know that sounds jokey, but I'm being serious, here. I'm telling you that my experience of watching just three episodes of this new season has left me feeling pretty destroyed, psychologically.
Last week I found old episodes of Rescue Mediums on YouTube. I think I'll stick with that. They always end with a cheesy joke and, after watching "Haunted," I need all the cheese I can get.
This collection includes my stories Nightmare Heights (one of my absolute favourites--and based on a true story, though wildly embellished), Spooky Little Girl Like You, and fan-fave Off with the Fairies. All these stories involve death--murder, suicide, and the kind where you just stop breathing because you're old--so if you're avoiding death at the moment, be forewarned.
Find Queer Ghost Stories Volume Three at Kobo and pretty much any other retailer where you buy books.
